The Darkstalkers 4-0 Fabienettes

Weather: Light Snow

Gate: 35k

The two winless teams in the Eastern Conference in week 1 met at The War Saw in a battle between two teams featuring rookie head coaches. The Darkstalkers lost a tough match against the Dolts last week while the Fabienettes were coming off a defeat to the Conference favourite Mutineers. The games between these two sides last season both went to the Fabienettes with 4-0 victories both home and away. Under new management, the Darkstalkers will be looking to improve greatly on those disappointing results.

The home side won the coin toss to start the match and elected to receive. Using the same receiving tactic as the 2003 Mercenaries, the kick-off was fielded by Alec von Tasslebine the team captain and Human Thrower. He proceeded to pass out to Splinter, the Gutter Runner and most dangerous long-range scoring threat on the team. Just as in 2003, Splinter's first move was down the field in a solo effort to score. Unlike in 2003, the Darkstalkers have a wide body to help support the run in Fido "Crackabone" Muncher". The Kroxigor who was selected in round 1 of Da Krush is a formidable site but the Fabienettes had a sneaky play up their sleaves to counter him. It is well known that the Fabienettes support is made up of those with a prediliction for mind-altering substances. One of these substances had clearly been partaken by Muncher as he raced to give Splinter some protection. Instead of following his detail, Muncher stopped in his tracks near the sideline and gazed for a while into the crowd. The look on his face clearly indicated that he had been struck by lurve. It was all too much to bear for the Kroxigor who leapt into the crowd and out of the drive.

Splinter was isolated and vulnerable in Fabienettes territory. Fabio, Wood Elf Wardancer and team captain of the visitors is not one to pass up an opportunity like that. He blitzed in to tackle the Gutter Runner and win possession of the ball for his team. The rest of the team was not as effective, with absolutely no impact made on the home team's line. While Fabio was doing his best, too many of his team-mates were just standing around with no desire to get involved in the game. This became a problem when Fabio ran out of room to evade the Darkstalkers. He was blitzed off the pitch by Dark Elf Lineman Peln'taro and without the Wardancer, the Fabienettes team offers far less threat. Indeed, the defence barely reacted and many players were caught out of position when the home side attacked again. The only thing that looked like it could stop the Darkstalkers from registering their first score of the season was their own bumbling. Skaven Blitzer "Sewer King" Screech Johnson initiated the attack but a failed exchange between him and Lineman Viryvan von Sted Jnr saw the ball bounce free. The Fabienettes could not take advantage. Von Sted Jnr regained his composure and struck towards the line again but it was too much for the son of one of the worst ever players Viryvan von Sted as he lost his footing and coughed up the ball again.

Perhaps frustrated at his team-mates inability to keep hold of the ball, Screech Johnson summoned up some power for the first really big hit of the game. The block Badly Hurt Norseman "Long" Pugh Bes. The Casualty opened Screech's career account in his second game since being drafted in the second round of Da Krush. The hit was not quite enough to end the defensive resistance of the Fabienettes. There was one player still interested in trying to get near the ball, that player was "3 inch" Wonder the Dwarf Blitzer. Being out of position and with Darkstalkers protection between himself and the ball carrier, the Dwarf was forced to put on a dazzling show of dodging. Wonder could only manage to slip two tackle zones before being dragged down agonisingly short. With Wonder down but other Fabienettes drifting back into the play, the Darkstalkers turned to the only player ever to register a touchdown for the team. Splinter was un-checked as he took hold of the ball and walked in the remaining couple of yards for the score.

The first Darkstalkers touchdown since week 6 of 2003 against the Mugaz and only their fifth ever came against a defence that does not look to have improved over the 2003 campaign where the Fabienettes conceeded a total of 13 scores. It was offensively though that they got it done last season with 16 which was tied for second in the league behind the Mutineers. The Darkstalkers were terrible in 2003 on defence but looked to have stiffened a little last week against the Dolts. With Fido Muncher back in the game, the defensive line was solid. It was not tested though, the Fabienettes attempted to launch their attack too quickly. The line was not given a chance to establish position before Orc Thrower Wagwag failed to connect with his Wood Elf counterpart, Fabino. The Elf dropped an easy opportunity and allowed the aggressive front of the Darkstalkers to take advantage.

With the Perfect Defence for the situation, The Darkstalkers raced their skill players into Fabienettes territory. Securing possession of the ball, Alec von Tasslebine made a short lateral to Amazon Catcher Cre'atarin. The Catcher slipped one tackle and handed the ball on to Splinter. Once the Gutter Runner had the ball in his grip, there was only going to be one outcome. Splinter's second touchdown of the game came at lightning pace. One mistake by the opposition had been capitalised on and The Darkstalkers had their first two touchdown game since Week 3 of 2003. The only blip was a blindside hit by Fabienettes Lineman Homo Inferior who Badly Hurt Screech Johnson. There was no more play in the half and it ended with the hosts in a commanding position. They have never been two up before and looked well on their way to a first ever win.

The second half kick-off was fielded by Fabienettes' Orc Thrower Wagwag. The Darkstalkers were showing fire in defence, Black Orc Blocker Krump Forznit, the team's fan favourite from 2003 showed just why he is so popular with a cheap shot before the drive could begin. The Fabienettes were not able to put together an effective offensive threat. Wagwag moved up the field but found himself out-numbered and lacking in support. He could not dodge free of the tackle zones and fell over, fumbling the ball. Perhaps the light snow made handling difficult but the Darkstalkers could not pick the bobbling ball up. Fido Muncher and Splinter both saw the ball squirm from their grasp but the visitors could not get close enough to get their hands on it. After what seemed like an eternity, the ball was finally secured but by an unlikely source. Fido Muncher collected it for his first ever rushing attempt. The hulking Kroxigor is a mean sight when in full flow and the Fabienettes are not known for mixing it up with the big guys. No-one attempted to put a hit on Muncher as he rushed through the backfield to collect his first touchdown, the team's third of the day and the first for a Darkstalkers player other than Splinter.

Three down was a very disappointing return for the Fabienettes and it showed in the stands. Scuffles broke out, holding the game up for a while and ensuring that there was no time for the most dramatic of comebacks. As it was, there still remained enough time for a score but it was to the rampant home side. Once the crowd disturbances had finished, Fabio received the kick-off and sped off down the field. His hopes of a consolation were dashed by a dirty trick from The Darkstalkers. Splinter reached into his uniform and pulled out a Stink Bomb. With unerring accuracy, it landed right next to Fabio who collapsed to the floor and dropped the ball. Splinter was not going to pass that opportunity up and took over possession. Fabio could not recover thanks to Peln'taro, the Dark Elf Lineman blitzed in as Fabio was getting up and Seriously Injured the Wardancer. On the other side of the field, "Crackabone" Muncher was putting in a big hit to Lineman Dave "The Paedo", Seriously Injuring him right in the face. The damage aside, the game was done. Splinter had the pace to score before the end of the game and it was a crushing 4-0 victory to The Darkstalkers. The scoreline reversed the humiliating results from last season and showed an enormous turn-around in the fortunes of these two teams. The Darkstalkers had lost first time out to what seems to be an improved Dolts side but it's two defeats in a row now for the Fabienettes and a step backwards from the team that qualified for the post-season in 2003.

Injuries: Dave "The Paedo" - Superficial Facial Wounding

Key Stats

Team	CAS	Rush	Blocks	Downs	Pass	Fum
Darkstalkers	3	46	30	23	7	7
Fabienettes	1	16	36	19	0	4

MVPS: Viyvan von Sted Jnr, "Long" Pugh Bes

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