Weather: Normal
Gate: 27k
A disappointing crowd of 27,000 showed up at watch the game at The Middle Ground between the so far pointless Panzerbourne and the team with three straight draws, the Ultimates. The attendance is the lowest so far recorded for a game in the South. The Ultimates have three points from their first three games including a creditable draw against the Wildmen. The Panzerbourne have no points to date and have only recorded a single TD in their first three fixtures, against the Tragedy. Their last outing was a lesson in blocking from the All-Stars but with this match marking the halfway stage of the season, points are what matters for qualification purposes.
The Panzerbourne kicked off to start the game fielding a standard 5-4-2 defensive formation and it was they who provided the first action of the game as well. Number 1 Krush pick Vampire Michael Howard made a blistering read of the kick to launch a one-man-rush. The rush connected with Ultimates Orc Blitzer Doom and floored him. The strike was only a momentary gain in position. Doom recovered fairly quickly to regain his footing and hit back at Howard, knocking him down in turn. That flank became the focus of attention for the Ultimates skill players. Sensing that Michael Howard may have been pushed out of position, they attacked down that left hand side. Amazon Thrower Mina Murray began the charge before offering up a quick pass to fellow passer, Smoove B the Wood Elf. A full blooded hook flowed round that wing as players sought to spring one of their number free.
The Panzerbourne found it a difficult manoeuvre to combat. Linford the Werewolf threw his body at the wedge forming in front of him but to little effect. A more subtle effort from Michael Howard led to an even worse outcome. He attempted to roll round the outside of the formation but could not evade the numerous tackle zones, slipping down in front of the pack. That slip was an open invitation for violence. Goblin Doom took that invite up by landing a couple of hobnail boots squarely on the face of Howard. The stamp knocked the Vampire out and took a major plank of the defence out of the equation. That loss was exacerbated for the visitors by the problems of The Middle Ground. The raised level of the central strip thwarted the efforts of Panzerbourne Thrower Joe Montana to get across to cover while on safety duty. Without being able to get the numbers across, the defence was stretched too far and that was the cue for the home side to go for it. Wood Elf Catcher Rudolf Nureyev emerged from the middle of the wedge and raced into position in the endzone. Once there, he span and waited for the aerial ball.
That ball never came as Smoove B misjudged the distance between himself and the target. The ball sailed far too high over Nureyev's head and into the crowd behind the end zone. After some laughable juggling, the ball bounced back into play just a couple of yards from Nureyev. The first player on the scene was not the Wood Elf but Linford. The Werewolf showed good pace to get into position to secure possession before anyone else could get there and then decent appreciation of the situation by lining up a pass to an open receiver. The receiver was Joe Montana. He had not been able to get over the Middle Ground so found himself all alone in his quadrant of the field. The change of direction left both sides scrambling to get to that side of the pitch but some took a more direct route than others. One of those following his own path was Mummy Blocker Bubba Ho-Tep. Bubba had found targets difficult to come by on the line of scrimmage as opponents did their best to avoid him so when he finally got hold of someone, he made it count. A nasty forearm smash to the back of the head of Hacksaw Jim Duggan was brutal enough to take the Lineman out for the remainder of the game. Had it not been for some effective medical work, Duggan could even have been out for a very much longer.
The action in the middle of the field removed one Ultimates player who might have got across to holt Joe Montana's progress but others did manage to get there. While he had one team-mate for company in Ultimate Warrior, Hulk Hogan, Jonny Gloom and the pacy Rudolf Nureyev of the Ultimates found the right angle to home in on the ball-carrier. Jonny Gloom the Wight delivered the tackle that the hosts desperately needed to prevent Joe from running through into their backfield. Hulk Hogan could not come up with the support play and fumbled his effort to grab hold of the ball. While he was looking down to try and pick up the squirming rock, Ultimate Warrior made him pay. Dropping an elbow on Hogan, Warrior injured his rival. In that moment, things were looking good for The Panzerbourne but Warrior then made a truly horrendous error. Instead of following up his block against Hogan with one against Rudolf Nureyev, he elected to chase off towards his own line. Rudolf could hardly have believed his eyes when Warrior turned and offered the chance of a trip that he duly took.
Warrior's actions turned what might have been a promising attacking situation into one that The Panzerbourne could not defend against. The visitors had not been quick enough onto the loose ball and the Ultimates had streamed across. Wood Elf Thrower Smoove B had shown determination in going coast to coast to get close enough to dive on the ball and pop it up for Rudolf Nureyev to grab. Unlike earlier, the 2 yard pass was a sucess. Without Ultimate Warrior in his face, there were no defenders in sight so it was no problem for Nureyev to go through the gears across the line. It was his first TD since the opening match and gave the Ultimates the lead midway through a hectic first period. The visiting side did have one further act to play which was a cheap shot from their own Hulk Hogan on the Ultimates "The" Ultimate Warrior. The cheap shot was sufficient to injure the Ultimates Lineman, a third casualty in quick succession.
Before the next kick-off could take place, one of the least effective Mass Invasions ever seen took place. Fans spilled onto the ground from both ends but perhaps it was the reduced number but they did not make much of an impact. Those fans did manage to knockout Ultimates Orc Blitzer Doom and injure Panzer Lineman Hulk Hogan but that was pretty much it until a squeaky voice from the visiting dugout piped up. The owner of that voice was made to pay as fans piled in to injure Bridget Midget despite the Halfling having not yet taken a step towards the pitch. When play resumed, possession landed with Joe Montana who in turn took a moment to survey the action ahead. Following a mass invasion of any kind, there seems to be a lull in the action and that happened again in this case with not much in the way of blocking or forward progress.
When forward progress was made, it was dramatic. Joe Montana made up the ground to midfield with just enough protection ahead to make a direct assault from the defense unrealistic. Time was definitely ticking away so it would not take much of a stand to keep the Ultimates in the lead at the break. At midfield, Joe would not be that likely to get all the way before time expired at the half. With this in mind, the defence formed line in front so as not to present a gap for Joe to even attempt to squeeze through. It looked like a formidable barrier. That barrier was breached by some truly remarkable play from Legoland. The Dark Elf Lineman blitzed manfully through the line at its strongest point, dodged clear of those remaining and made it to the goal line. All it would take for a score would be a connection between Joe and Legoland. The pass was longer than any previously attempted in the South but it spiralled beautifully to land in the Dark Elf's stride for one of the best TDs seen in league play.
There was no further play in the half and the break came with the score of one apiece. Both sides could have gone in with a lead, the Ultimates if they had made their opening completion or not been subject to an awesome play by Legoland and Joe Montana. The Panzerbourne could have been in front had they not seen Ultimate Warrior have a rush of blood and forget to pay attention to his man. It was a dramatic half that swung both ways, neither side's coaching staff will have felt comfortable with their chances for the second half.
That half started off far more slowly than the action that had been raging during the opening period. Joe Montana fielded the kick but did not attempt to get upfield. He delayed while waiting for something to happen either out wide or down the middle. There was not that much progress on either flank and up front there were knockdowns but no forward motion. The contined stalling was costly as it allowed the defence to attack off the edge. Lineman Macho Man Randy Savage was the quickest in to the hit and with textbook style he wrapped both arms around Montana to bring the Thrower down from a square on position. It was a nice tackle but was not followed up by his team, the next player through was Smoove B but he could not get off a block and stumbled down face first, knocking himself out. The lack of second phase play gave Joe Montana the time to recover his balance, knock Savage out of the way and recover his own fumble. It was not a full recovery though as the next wave of defence finally caught up with Montana led by High Elf Mr Darcy. Darcy was able to knock Joe down, generate a fumble and take possession for himself.
The game had become extremely stretched with the focus around the ball midway through the Panzer half and just a few players in its vicinity while the rest of the two teams battled out up front or remained in covering positions. Those players that were active around the ball converged upon each other. For the visiting team, Norse Thrower Iorek Byrnison was the first to make a meaningful move by shoving Mr Darcy off the Middle Ground. Stumbling from that raised height, Darcy fumbled the ball free leading to a desperate scramble. Joe Montana slid in to collect it but was dived upon by Orc Blitzer Doom. After a couple of bobbles, the ball made its way to Iorek Byrnison. The Norseman had an instant decision to make, he could either bootleg out and try to evade the rush or he could get rid of the ball instantly. Byrnison elected for the latter. Attempting to dump the ball out to Linford, he did not get it up high enough. Macho Man Randy Savage got his hands up and tipped the ball. The pass attempt had been a mistake and Savage had taken full advantage. He recovered his own tip and ran across the line for the go-ahead score. The interception meant that the Ultimates were the first team to record two picks in a single season following Bubble's against the Tragedy.
2-1 down with very little time left in the game, The Panzerbourne really had to go some to bring the game back. They made a bold attempt but it was always going to be a little too much. Joe Montana took the kick-off but could not produce the same sort of pass that had secured a dramatic TD at the end of the first half and it was way wide of any mark. As the ball clanged to the ground, it was obvious that the chance of another score was over. There was still time for Bubble to get himself sent off, the Goblin trying to connect with a sly boot to a prone player but was caught by Keith Hakit and expelled in the dying moments. The slight distraction in the referee's attention was just enough to extend the game to allow time for Panzer Hobgoblin Willem Dafoe to badly hurt Mr Darcy.
The game ended at 2-1, The Panzerbourne came so close to their first points and maybe even their first win but just did not quite have enough to put the Ultimate Team away. They certainly had the physical battle won with 4 Casualties to their names and if they could have performed better in the clutch the result might have gone their way. The Ultimates will be pleased to have picked up their first victory and put themselves right back in the hunt for a post-season berth. Some of their skill players did not perform up to scratch but they still had the wherewithal to score twice. They may be a little concerned about their fragility but they remain undefeated half way through the season and have scored more than once in a game for the first time.
Injuries: "The" Ultimate Warrior - Damaged Back (2 games)
Key Stats
| Team | CAS
|
Rush
|
Blocks
|
Downs
|
Tackles
|
Pass
|
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Ultimate | 2
|
37
|
27
|
15
|
4
|
1
|
| Panzer | 4
|
26
|
37
|
18
|
1
|
12
|
MVPs: Bubba Ho-Tep, Jane
Best Players