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The first match-up between a team that qualified for the post-season in 2003 and one that did not even exist was bound to be a stern test for the side from the South. The All-Stars have not had the best start to the season, recording a loss and a draw so far. The Panzerbourne are yet to secure any points at all, having lost narrowly to the Flatliners and the Tragedy. With absolutely zero form to look at, the key question around the league was how well the team from the South would hold up against the incredibly heavy blocking of the Most Violent Team of 2003.
A physically tough situation was made worse on the first kick-off. A section of All-Stars fans managed to escape onto the pitch and caught the home side off guard. Vampire Michael Howard was Badly Hurt, Orc Thrower Fatima and Lineman Jesse Ventura were both Seriously Injured and Lineman Steve Austin was knocked out. With four players down and the ball not even kicked, there were clear signs that this was going to be a very difficult match for The Panzerbourne. Having lost the toss, there were bound to be serious holes in the defensive line and the All-Stars are designed to pound into any weakness. High Elf Thrower Thaleus Thunderarm was able to collect the ball but only after it had been moved around thanks to another pitch invader, a stray dog. The unknown canine managed to delay the start of the All-Stars drive momentarily but was not able to hold out for long before becoming bored and allowing Thunderarm to pick up the ball.
Thunderarm seems to be fully aware and happy with his role in the offense and he fulfilled it again with a quick pass to rookie Witch Elf Svetlana Domina. While there was no real immediate danger to Svetlana, it is not for nothing that Witch Elfs have a reputation for volatility. That volatility came to the fore as she rushed downfield on the left hand flank. For some unknown reason, Svetlana became fixated with someone or something in the crowd. She dropped the ball, neglected her duties and raced into the crowd in search of whatever it was that she saw. Her reward was a knock out beating.
With so many holes in their defensive line thanks to the pitch invasion, The Panzerbourne could not make any effective second phase play on the ball. Their fastest player, Werewolf Linford, over-exerted himself in his attempt to put pressure on the bobbling ball and his threat was passed by. Thaleus is a very comfortable player in these situations, he followed up effectively on the ball and assessed his options immediately. Another quick pass provided possession for Wood Elf Lineman Aenarion Swift, one of only four players to go over 100 rushing yards in 2003. The Panzebourne simply did not have the numbers to make any impression on the new ball carrier and those numbers were diminished even further by Kaneris N'Gillthrog, the Most Violent Player of 2003. Kaneris delivered his fourth Casualty of the season by Badly Hurting Mummy Blocker Bubba Ho-Tep.
The damage was enough to see Aenarion Swift safely home to the endzone for the score midway through the first half. It was the Wood Elf's third score of the campaign. The physical battering that had allowed it was impressive but The Panzerbourne have a fairly remarkable medical team, Michael Howard and Bubba Ho-Tep both recovered from themselves from their knocks while Fatima and Steve Austin were both helped back onto the field. With a full compliment of players, the hosts marched out to face an eye formation defence and a deep kick. The deepest player, Fatima was the one assigned responsibility to lead the initial phase of the attack but the team struggled badly up front. Not being able to create any space or push the visitors backwards meant that it was up to the skill players to create something. Michael Howard attempted to do so but he found himself over-exerting and unable to keep his feet.
Without options either up front or on the wing, Fatima was forced to hold onto the ball. This was just what the All-Stars were looking for. Saurus Verkampf "Rat Destroyer" was the player to take advantage. He blitzed through, showing the expansion conference side the pace that has surprised many a team so far. The blitz knocked Fatima down and wrenched the ball free. The loose ball created a second phase scramble as both teams attempted to manouevre themselves into and their opponent out of position. The main pack up front were not able to engage with the scramble so it was just down to those players that were free in the hosts backfield. One player in the right place was Svetlana Domina. The Witch Elf has decent evasive ability and showed that to dance through a couple of tacklers, collect the ball and stride over the goal line for the second All-Stars score of the half. Time had flown by, with a few players not able to keep up to speed so there was shock for some when the whistle was blown to end the half just after Svetlana scored.
Two up at the half represented a comfortable lead for the visitors. The hosts had simply not been able to cope with the brutal physical power of the All-Stars. They had got nothing going on offence and had found the initial pitch invasion to be too much to handle. Some respectability seemed to be the aim for the remainder of the match.
The second half was delayed for a while thanks to Scuffles amongst sections of the crowd. There seemed to be an un-necessary level of crowd antagonism in the game given the lack of history between the teams and the seeming ease of the All-Stars first period performance. When play was finally resumed, it was again Fatima who was deepest and pegged to start the offense rolling. This time though there was some movement from the skill department. Human Thrower Joe Montana took the ball from Fatima with Michael Howard as his target. Howard was able to produce a more effective assault by blitzing down the wing, dodging a tackle before spinning to see the ball in flight. Montana's short pass was on target and the Vampire's timing was effective, the combination resulted in a decent completion.
While the play was indeed a succesful one, the rest of the team were not able to provide any real support. Howard was making progress into enemy territory but he was alone and the number one pick in this season's Krush does not possess blistering speed. That weakness was exploited by Kaneris N'Gillthrog. The Ogre got off his block by breaking a tackle and chased Michael Howard down from behind. The enormous lug slammed into the Vampire, knocking him down and the ball again bouncing away from a Panzerbourne hand. The second phase play from both sides was decent and neither had an obvious advantage. A crush around the ball is something that has been seen more than once from an All-Stars game. The congestion around the ball increased continually and it became almost impossible for any player to put a steady hand onto it. A series of fumbles failed to dislodge the ball in favour of either side.
Perhaps the most effective way to resolve a crush situation is to damage the other side sufficiently to reduce their available numbers pressuring the ball. Kaneris N'Gillthrog attempted to do just that by injuring Hobgoblin Willem Defoe with a facial shot. It didn't seem to make much difference though, each team continued to pile bodies into the fray and neither could make any real progress. The game petered out un-dramatically, not a single further rushing yard recorded in the game. It ended as it was at half time, 2-0 to the No Talent All-Stars. The first half performance was a dominating one, the physical power that took the team to the post-season last year clearly in evidence. The second half saw a better show from the hosts, the team from the south managing to establish a deadlock and restore some credibility to their own toughness. The lessons that The Panzerbourne will have learnt from this game should hold them in good stead for the rest of the season though it will have taught them that their 0 haul of points after 3 games reflects their already unlikely shot at a post-season place this season.
Injuries: None
Key Stats
| Team | CAS
|
Rush
|
Blocks
|
Downs
|
Stands
|
Panzer | 0
|
13
|
30
|
15
|
20
|
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Flatliners | 5
|
32
|
41
|
30
|
10
|
MVPs: Bubba Ho-Tep, Jane
Best Players
Kaneris N'Gillthrog: 2 CAS, 10 Blocks, 9 Downs, 1 Tackle, 1 Dodge
Svetlana Domina: 1 TD, 2 Rushes for 15 yards, 1 Reception for 2 yards, 2 Blocks, 1 Down, 1 Dodge, 1 Fumble
Aenarion Swift: 1 TD, 1 Rush for 13 yards, 1 Reception for 2 yards, 2 Blocks, 1 Down, 2 Stands, 2 Fumbles