Fabienettes 2-3 In D.A. N/a Police Dolts

Week 3 28/08/04

Referee: Anders Frisky

Weather: Breeze

Gate: 35k

A meeting of two teams in turmoil was set for Fabien Fields. The Fabienettes lost their head coach over the close-season and even worse happened to the Dolts. Having seen Terry Hungry killed between the seasons, they are now onto their third head coach. Unfavourable has been fired with immediate effect, this comes only two games into his career with the team, having already been sacked by the All-Stars. Details are not available at present, the team preferring instead to focus on the future with new head coach The Enforcer. The Enforcer was a contender for the vacant Darkstalkers coaching position but was passed over in favour of a home candidate. The Enforcer's first game comes against a side that are just off a serious beating in their 4-0 loss against those same Darkstalkers. It is difficult to read any form into the Dolts recent performances, their impressive victory over the Mutineers was achieved with a different person at the helm. Last season's game finished up 3-2 to the Fabienettes with neither side being able to defend, this season's looked to be more of the same.

Missing Lineman Homo Inferior with a niggling injury, the Fabienettes won the coin toss and chose to receive. They found themselves facing a strong front with little cover in the secondary. A midfield kick and a flat defence was too tempting a target for Fabio, the Fabienettes Wardancer and team captain to resist. He scorched down the left hand side thanks to a lead blitz from Dwarf Blitzer "3 inch" Wonder but it was too rapid a pace as none of his team-mates could keep up. One that tried was Lineman Homo Erectus but he could not get off the block and was tripped up. This left Fabio isolated and highly vulnerable. The player that had been hit by the lead blitz, Witch Elf "High" Lady Venice had enough about her to punish that isolation. Jumping to her feet, Venice escaped the tackle zone of "3 inch" Wonder and blitzed Fabio. The Wardancer found himself too close to the edge of the playing field and was unceremoniously dumped into the second row of the crowd.

The crowd were obliging in returning the ball to the somewhat entrancing Lady Venice who in turn was far quicker to react than any of the home players. Fabienettes Wood Elf Thrower did attempt to get involved but was not able to find space and stumbled down to the ground. There was some better play on the front line though, Norseman Bob "The Hair" knocking out his larger man, Chaos Warrior Snurg "The Great". Lady Venice was unconcerned by such matters and neither was her team-mate Salina Black. The highly skilled pair combined on a quick pass that set Black free. Salina is an extremely fast player who managed 5 touchdowns last season. She added her second of this campaign, not a single Fabienettes player able to get close to her dash through the backfield. The opening score was extremely early in the game and set the tone for a fast paced and attacking match.

That attacking spirit was again in evidence at the subsequent kick-off, the action looked remarkably similar to what had just transpired. The only difference was that this time Lady Venice hit harder. Fabio had burst down the same side to try and make amends for his previous mistake but it did not work, he had no cover and this time Venice was not touched. She secured her second tackle of the game with a fierce blow that knocked the Wardancer out cold. On the front line, the Dolts were also taking control. Orc Blitzer Smack lived up to his name with a big hit on Norseman "Long" Pugh Bes that Badly Hurt Bes. The Fabienettes were in slightly better position to absorb that hit and the fumble from Fabio on this occasion and did not have such a big gap on their flank. In response, Lady Venice blocked a clear path to the ball for her team-mate, the Ghoul Catcher A'Argch.

This game was never going to be for the slow of thought or eye, A'Argch made it to the ball but seemed too anxious to get on with the action. He moved into position and attempted to pass the ball to Salina Black but his aim was wayward. The ball came to rest in Fabienettes territory. The home side had Wood Elf Thrower Fabino in the right place and clearly knew exactly what should be done. Taking the ball without difficulty, he took aim and fired but nowhere near any target but at least it had changed the dimension of the play by getting the ball into the Dolts half. There was a Dolts player on cover duty, High Elf Thrower Tylana Sureflight. His next move was a fairly obvious one, another incomplete pass clanged down back in the Fabienettes zone of control. The insanity still was not over, Fabino had another effort at heaving the ball back again but this time, his ball control left him and he fumbled it embarrassingly.

With the ball settled for a moment, the Dolts did their best to play it more calmly. Orc Blitzer Smack knocked Fabino out of the way, allowing room for Salina Black to take over. Salina is well-known as a fast player but on this occasion, she was not quite fast enough. She tried just that little bit too hard and stumbled over the unkempt grass, bobbling the ball free. There was clearly only one thing for it, a pass. This time the player in position was Dark Elf Blitzer Fabius. Unlike so many previous attempts, this one was spot on. A glorious long pass sailed up to midfield and the waiting Orc Thrower Wagwag. An unexpected bout of sensibility came over Wagwag instead of trying to create something out of nothing. The Orc made his way through the disintegrated line of scrimmage and hooked up with Goblin "Roy's" Girl. The Gobbo took over possession and made his own way towards the goal line.

The one cover player, High Elf Thrower Thaleus Thunderarm, failed to cut off "Roy's" Girl. He stumbled and fell when trying to chase across the field leaving the endzone entirely unguarded. The Goblin was off but it was nosebleed time. "Roy's" Girl had never even had a rushing yard before so it was not surprising when nerves got the better of him. Just as he was about to cross the line, he fell. The ball bounced agonisingly just inside the end zone. The Dolts were unable to track back and so left "Roy's" Girl alone with just enough time to roll round and grasp desperately at the ball. It stuck and a touchdown was signalled. 1-1, almost no time left in the half. There was still time for one more act, the Dolts ignored the ball to manouevre Norse Blizer Sven Andersson into position to take a shot at a Fabienettes player. The one he hit was Fabino and the Wood Elf Thrower went down hard, it was clear that he was Badly Hurt.

A dramatic and quite chaotic first half had finished all square, either team could realistically have scored almost at any time. Constructed plays were rejected in favour of all out efforts to score instantly in an eerily reminiscent manner of these teams last meeting at this ground. The change in coaches seemed not to have made any difference to the way in which the players attacked each other.

That attacking style was evident yet again as soon as the next kick-off went up. An abstract defensive formation was picked apart with ease by a touchback and a straight-line run from Salina Black. The pacy Wood Elf outstripped her blockers and nearly all the Fabienettes defence. The final cover player was the only one who could get in line quickly enough. That player was Wagwag, the Orc Thrower lowered his shoulder and created a deliberate collision. The body-on-body hit knocked Salina down and wrenched the ball away. First to the loose ball was Lineman Dave "The Paedo" who had managed to slip his blocker on the front line to get to the ball and hold onto it. That hold was only momentary, the second wave of Dolts arrived en masse led by "High" Lady Venice. The Witch Elf crashed into Dave, knocking him out. Venice was being trailed by A'Argch, showing good awareness of second phase play. As Venice cleared her man out of the way, A'Argch was able to run free to the ball, collect it and keep going over the line to retake the lead for the Dolts.

In both halves, the Dolts had scored early to set the tone for the rest of the half. Without Fabio to lead their attack, the home side resorted to a slight change in tactics for their response. Wagwag picked the ball up in midfield, pushed forward and passed out to Lineman Rob "Bitch" Lanc. It was not a tactic that yielded much in the way of yardage thanks to Orc Blitzer Smack who met Lanc just as he was watching the ball into his hands and so unprotected from the hit. Seeing a glimpse of an opening, Smack followed through on Lanc, stole the ball and struck off into Fabienettes territory. He didn't get all that far, perhaps due to being overly eager and stumbling over a divet in the turf.

Staying true to the form of the game so far, the grateful recipient of the ball was Fabius and inevitably the Dark Elf Blitzer was off by himself back towards the opposite end. For a change, there was no real open ground to run into. The Dolts had filed across to fill the gaps in the line. This meant that Fabius had to make his own space but he was not able to do that. He didn't get past the first man and was tripped over as he attempted to break past. Another turnover and this one was punished. That deadly combo of Lady Venice and Salina Black were on hand to deliver the blow, Venice getting into the area of the ball and out again with it before handing it off to Black. Salina really turned on the burners to race past all and sundry and extend the Dolts lead to a seemingly unassailable 3-1.

With so little time left in the game, it was all but won for the visitors. Perhaps this thought was with them, but they were switched off at the next kick-off. Despite an initial bobble from Wagwag, the Orc Thrower was able to produce another completion with Fabius the appreciative recipient. He was fairly heavily marked but dodged his way around three separate players on his way downfield. He was not even stopped by a tackle from Lineman "Rob's" Gay Dad, instead he showed the sort of talent that some had suggested when he was picked early in the second round of Da Krush. While Thaleus Thunderarm of the Dolts was struggling to get off a blocker, Fabius was able to recover his balance, orientate himself and retrieve the ball before any of the visiting side could reach it. A consolation touchdown, bringing the game to 3-2 to the Dolts.

This was a peculiar game and the circumstances surrounding the Dolts meant that it probably would not be reflective of either form or prospects. It did mark the first touchdowns of the season for the Fabienettes and some indication that they are capable of putting together some individual brilliance on offence. The Dolts are still perfect though this match was closer than a perfect team should be against a winless one. The skill players of the Dolts are clinical finishers and despite the change in coach, those players will trouble anyone that they come up against.

Key Stats

Dodge
Team
CAS
Rush
Blocks
Downs
Fabienettes
0
47
13
7
19
17
Dolts
2
54
35
22
3
8

MVPS: "3 inch" Wonder, "High" Lady Venice

Best Players

Salina Black: 2 TDs, 4 Rushes for 34 yards, 1 Reception for 1 yard, 1 Fall, 2 Fumbles
"High" Lady Venice: 2 Rushes for 8 yards, 1 Completion for 1 yard, 6 Blocks, 3 Downs, 3 Tackles, 1 Dodge
Fabius: 1 TD, 3 Rushes for 16 yards, 1 Completion for 8 yards, 1 Reception for 6 yards, 4 Dodges, 3 Falls