Weather: Still
Gate: 25k
Wild Stadium was the venue for the opening match in the Western Conference of the 2003 season. The 25,000 in attendance bore witness to an attacking game full of strong running and huge hits. The still conditions allowed both sides to exhibit their natural games resulting in five casualties and an almost constant stream of visitors to the knocked-out section of the dugouts.
The brutality had begun even before the ball had been kicked off with the always uncompromising All-Stars fans trying to intimidate the home side when captain Mr Wildman was hit by what can only be described as a boulder launched from a section of the most rabid away support. Maybe this rattled the Wildmen early on when Amazon Thrower Lisa Furykup spilled the ball following a central kick from the All-Stars. The pressure only increased when Minotaur Horny Wildman was caught by an innovative special play. The Minotaur fully blitzed into what he thought was an All-Star Human Lineman but the crowd gasped as it became apparent that Horny Wildman had struck a dummy filled with explosives and was knocked, stunned to the floor. There currently are no training regimes employed by Blood Bowl coaches to improve the eyesight of their players but the Wildmen may want to consider one as replays showed the dummy to be little more than a crude scarecrow laden with gunpowder.
This setback was the cue for an All-Star assault as Orc Grak Hedsplitter tackled ball carrier Speedy McSpeedy and a devastating block from Lineman Tom Flid ripped bark from flesh taking Treeman Woody Wildman out with a gashed leg. Despite all this effort though the All-Stars were unable to keep the pressure on the Wildmen. Grak Hedsplitter was sent off by referee Barry Spite following an innocuous challenge on Horny Wildman while the Minotaur was recovering from the earlier explosion. Catcher Mr Cock Knocker took up the running for the Wildmen as the All-Stars over-reached and left the backfield dangerously exposed. When Ogre Kaneris N'Gillthrog stumbled when attempting to blitz the pacey catcher there was simply no-one left to defend the end zone as the early pressure had been caused by throwing players at the Wildmen lines. Adding insult to injury, Horny Wildman recovered from the exploding player trick to batter into Thaeleus Strongarm the High Elf Thrower and break the leg of the All-Stars key ball-handler before Knocker ran the ball in for the opening score of the game.
The reaction of the All-Stars fans was predictably violent. They poured onto the pitch in their thousands taking out frustrations on whoever they could lay their hands on. The normally placid Wildmen met the challenge and they too stormed the field. The subsequent battle left three All-Stars and two Wildmen trampled into the ground, the already injured Thaleus Thunderarm being attacked as he lay in the away dugout and a total of 50 All-Stars and 71 Wildmen fans dead. In the ensuing chaos, the Wildmen snuck past the All-Stars lines and scored a second time through Lineman Mr Big Balls despite the best efforts of Norseman Samuel Magnusson who's tackle on Brian O'Hanrahanrahan left the latter with a bruised spine.
2-0 at half-time. The Wildmen were in an extremely strong position and this was recognised by the home fans who began a frenzied chant to boost their players and intimidate the away players. The tactic appeared to work when the All-Stars attack ground to a half following a tremendous blitz by Amazon Lisa Furykup on the Wood Elf Aenarion Swift. The ball was ripped from the Elf's grasp and bounced to Mr Cock Knocker. The catcher was in exactly the same position as he had found himself in the first half when he stepped up to take the ball and score. However, this time he was unable to secure the ball into his posession. The scramble that followed attracted most of the players from both sides. The sheer numbers involved prevented anyone from laying a serious hit on anyone else or extracting themselves from the melee until Samuel Magnusson executed a miraculous pirouette. The Norseman escaped a series of tackles and head off in search of the end zone. Unfortunately for the All-Stars, Magnusson was fell victim to his own amorousness, left the ball and all thoughts of scoring to head off towards a moderately attractive young Wildmen fan in the crowd.
With the love-struck Norse taken out of the play, Mr Cock Knocker was the first to react and swooped down to collect the ball within yards of his own end zone. It was not to last as he produced his fourth fumble of the game, ably assisted by a blitz from Saurus Blocker Verkampf "Rat Destroyer". With no-one between him and the end zone, the Rat Destroyer was able to gather the ball at the second attempt and belied his generally poor co-ordination to secure what was evidently a consolation score for the visitors. With just a quarter of the half to go there was no real chance that the away team could level the match up once the Wildmen had held the restart and ran the clock down with a half-hearted strike into All-Stars territory. That attack came to nothing and the game fizzled out to a 2-1 home victory as the Wildmen stood victorious amid the bones and blood of the fallen, most notably the fans.
Injuries:
Wildmen:
Woody Wildman - Gashed Leg (0 games)
Brian O'Hanrahanrahan - Bruised Spine (1 game)
All-Stars:
Thaleus Thunderarm - Broken Leg (1 game)
Key Stats
Team
Wildmen
All-Stars
MVPS: Brian O'Hanrahanrahan, Verkampf "Rat Destroyer"
Best Players
Mr Cock Knocker: 1 TD, 1 Rush for 15 yds, 2 Dodges, 1 Blocks, 1 Stands, 4 Fumbles, 4 Crowd CAS
Samuel Magnusson: 2 CAS, 1 Rush for 6 yds, 2 Dodges, 7 Blocks, 6 Downs, 1 Fumble, 8 Crowd CAS
Lisa Furykup: 2 Rushes for 9 yds, 2 Pass for 4 yds, 4 Blocks, 2 Downs, 1 Tackle, 1 Fall, 2 Fumbles, 4 Crowd CAS