Savage Land Broadcasts
Whats with the baseball bat and that alarm for Tom?
Nothing!
No, come on…spit it out!
Well…we’re getting real popular with the Blood Bowl coaches this season. They all want to be interviewed!
Really! Well that’s great! But…you didn’t answer my question! Whats with the bat and the alarm?
Well this week we’ve got Hydemonster, coach of the Muggaz coming in and I for one am gonna be ready!
Ready for what!
Well if he turns nasty then I’ve got this ‘ere bat and if he tries to mug me he’s gonna get 120db in the face from this anti mugger alarm I’ve got here, see…
*SIREN*
SHUT THAT DAMN THING OFF NOW!!!
WHAT! I CAN’T HEAR YOU CAUSE OF THIS ALARM IN MY HAND!!!
*Motions finger across throat* OFF!
WHAT!
*SIREN STOPS*
OFF!
No need to shout!
TOM…Why I’m gonna….
Oh..look…here’s our guest now! Lets give a warm welcome to Hydemonster!
Hello there! How you two doing?
Just fine thanks. *Gives Tom an evil look*
So…Hydemonster…just for the sake of our audience who may not own an interactive, wide angle, all singing all dancing, flat screen, interactive 76inch monster of a TV…
Stop showing off!
Sorry…could you tell us who you are and how you got into Blood Bowl?
What kind of questions that?
What? Well…I …don’t know. What kind of question is that Jerry?
I give up I really do! Look…Tom…JUST GET ON WITH IT!
Alright! Keep your hair on…
Grrr….
Seriously though Mr Hydmonster. Who are you and how did you get into Bloodbowl?
Oh…thats really the question?
Yup!
Ok then. Well…I’m a human, as if you couldn’t tell and…
…and a pretty weedy one at that!
Pardon!?
Ignore him!
I come from Portside in the North…
…isn’t that where Puddle Dock is located?
Sure is…I like to be “close” to the stadium at “all times”. Answering the second part of your question Tom. I only really got interested in Blood Bowl after a trip to the Mutineers stadium…
So you’re in the Mutineers pocket then?
Not at all! After “watching” the Mutineers play an “exhibition” match at their stadium on Mutiny Island…
Why were you there?
“Business trip”!
Sorry go on…
…Well I decided to form the Muggaz.
Speaking of the Muggaz. We know you were the champions of 2003, so how will this effect the way you approach games this season?
Well, this year I’ve decided that the team should go ”Back to basics”….
What! You mean actually learn “how to catch the ball”?
What! No!... No,no,no! I mean return to basic formations and defensive strategies. I mean…it was “knowing” the “basics” which helped us win in 2003!
So “catching the ball” then?
Well…yes actually..but…I might add that was in 2003, we’ve moved on from that!
So “throwing the ball” then!
How did you know tha….No! That’s not it at all!
Okay! Anyway…So moving on … Mr Hyde. Who do you fear in your conference and for that matter the entire league?
Well I can “truthfully” say that the Muggaz “don’t fear no-one”! We do however like to maintain a healthy respect for all our opponents!
Oh right…but really…who would you like to give a real whipping to this season!
It’s not about “whipping” but “winning”!
A very diplomatic answer…
Although come to think of it…it would be “nice” to give the Mutineers a ”whipping”!
Ah ha! I knew it!
So, other than your own own team who do you think will do well this season?
Of course the Mutineers!
How can you say that! You’re the one who wanted to give them a “Whipping”!
Well you can’t deny the truth!
BAH!
Let me finish…but….I think they’re team is looking a bit old…
That’s better…
…and I keep hearing really “good things” about the Savages and am very impressed with all the strong players they have managed to bring in…
Did I mention I admire your views… alot?
Thanks!
Anyway…back to business. Are there any player v player grudges going on between your team and others?
Well… I believe the entire team hate the Mutineers for the beating they gave us last year…
What!
…BUT… I don't let my team get involved in “petty grudges”.
Oh Ok then...
“Petty grudes” cost the team! For example last season we were able to “equalise” and get a “good result” against the Wildmen away, after two of their major players, including their Troll captain were sent off after “trying” to injure on of our players as part of a “petty grudge”.
So do you hold this against the wildmen?
Of course…not! We in the Muggaz believe in “fair play” and no “recriminations”, on or off the pitch!
You are SO boring! Where’s your back bone man?
TOM! Why don’t you just SHUTUP!
Ok…
On the subject of “recriminations” what are your thoughts on the defeat you received against the Mutineers last year?
Well..The first time they gave us a “mauling”, but that was in revenge for the “beating” we gave them in the 2003 final. The second loss was much “closer”, in fact we only lost in injury time. I feel “confident” that if it comes down to a match between us this year the MuGaz will be “victorious”.
So you really think that this year will be yours?
Yup!
So just what are your real thoughts on tactics this year?
I thinks that it's all about “defence”. Scoring against the other coaches will be “really easy” this year, especially with my new impact player Igror Da Zkina the troll slayer and with four catchers, including two “elves”. However trying to work out what on earth the opposition are planning, especially when some of them don't know themselves is quite difficult and stopping it is “even harder”!
Right, last question. What flavoured ice cream do you like?
What kind of question is that Tom?!
No that’s alright.! Look I don’t eat ice cream, in fact I don't even let any of the team eat the stuff. On the first day I came into the canteen and they were eating ice cream, I soon banned that, players must be in the best physical shape.
Cor! You are one stingy coach! So…flake or hundreds and thousands.
Flake.
AH HA!! So you do eat icecream!
No! I just like eating flakes on their own!
What! Errrr…that’s disgusting!
No its not!
Yes it is!
No! Its NOT!
YES IT IS!!!
Well.. while I leave Tom and our guest to discuss the finer points of icecream eating, this has been Tom and Jerry reporting for SLB. Goodbye!