Savage Land Broadcasts
Whats up with the pirate hat Sniff?
Haven’t you heard?
Heard what?
We’ve got our first assignment!
What! Where!
We’ve got to go to Mutiny Island to interview MadLordAnarchy, the coach of the Tempo Ray Mutineers!
Wicked! So…erm…whats with the hat?
You dumby! THE MUTINEERS..You know…PIRATES!
Oh..now I get it, it’s a disguise! Well in that case…ooar oooar ooooar…shiver me timbers and walk the plank you blaggard!
No need to go overboard Lieutenant Scratch! *snigger*
Very funny Captain Sniff!
Right you too stop mucking about! I want a good clean interview! That means NO messing around! Got it!
Yes boss!
Whatever you say boss!
Right then you’d better hoist anchor and ship out then!
Aye, Aye Sir!
Right here you go Jerry...Scratch and Sniff's report is here, shall we listen to it now?
I don't know.
Oh, go on I want to hear it!
Oh, Ok then..........
OW!
Sorry!
Get your foot out of me face!
Sorry!
Why did we have to do this again?
Look. It was the only way we could get into MadLordAnarchys’ office!
But why through an air vent!
Oh..stop whining will you! Jerry told us to do this, so be quite!
Oh, alright. Just so long as we can GET OUT OF HERE!
Right! We’re here. Hand me that rope.
Here you go.
NO! DON’T DO THAT!!
*CRASH*
OW! OW! OW!
Oh…shut up! You’re such an old woman!
It’s alright for you! How comes you managed to land on something soft! And its dark in here!
Quiet!
NO! I hate the dark!
Shhh! Someone’s coming!
*DOOR OPENS AND SOMEONE ENTERS*
Is it him?
Shhh!! Erm….Would you care to comment on the likelihood of he Mutineers winning again this season?
What the!! Who’s that!? How the hell did you two get in here?! Note to self…get…better…security.What do you want?
Sorry. We’re Scratch and Sniff from SLB come to interview MadLordAnarchy, head coach of the Mutineers.
Yes….that’s me, now what do you want.
Oh…right…ok…well…um…we’ve been sent to ask you a few questions
Well then, get on with it!
Can we turn on the lights first?
For heavens sake!
Sniff!
Alright, alright! Give me a second…there!
*LIGHTS GO ON*
There we go…wait …hold on a minute…you’re not MadLordAnarchy!
WHAT!
MadLordAnarchy’s a pirate…you know big hat, wooden leg, eye patch, annoying parrot…
Sniff! Will you please BE QUIET! We’re trying to conduct a professionalized interview here!
OOoo *HANDBAG* Well Sorry!
Sniff!
Look Scratch! This guy hasn’t even got a wooden leg!
Oh please! Don’t give me that! Do you think that, with the amount money this organisation has made over the years, we‘re all going to keep wearing all those frills?
Well…
Italian, best suit money can buy…
But…
...and do you know how annoying a wooden leg can get after a while! They get stuck in the most annoying and peculiar places. That’s why I got this! *TAPS LEG* Titanium best leg I’ve had so far.
Very nice.
But what about the piracy bit? You know travelling the seven seas capturing ships full of gold?
What! You must be kidding! In these clothes! Look the only piracy we undertake nowadays is in the boardroom.
But what about all those recent stories…
Oh…you mean the hired help?
But, look…I mean…YOU’RE NOT A PIRATE!
Look you little…
Look, Mr Anarchy, I’m terribly sorry for my colleagues smelly attitude. I think we started on the wrong foot.
What not the wooden one?
Sniff!
Sorry.
I apologise for my friend here. If I could ask you a few questions we’ll leave you in peace.
Right…fine…you’ve got…*looks at expensive monogrammed watch*…10 minutes.
Oh that’s fine…
Yes…10 minutes before I call the lads in to deal with you two.
Oh…
We’ll make this quick then…So…OK…err…right…As I asked before, would you care to comment on the likelihood of he Mutineers winning again this season?
Well that’s better! Yes…The Tempo Ray Mutineers achieved a glorious success last season, without any real challenge on their way to the title.
So there were no challenges at all?
Are you calling me a liar?
Excuse my friend he can be a bit STUPID at times!
Yes well. As I was saying…It was through the fantastic ownership team that we have here that our feckless and over-hyped players were able to help us lift the trophy. That ownership team is still in place so we have high expectations for another easy campaign.
Hum…Like the trophy case there…Oak?
No…finest Mahogany.
Oh…right…
So, do you have any other opinions or comments about the other teams and coaches competing in the league this season?
Yes…well…There are some half decent sides out there and we expect to see progress from The Panzerbourne…
So do you think they will challenge you this season?
HA! Not at all…they have put together a nicely unpleasant squad though.
So what of your main rivals the Muggaz, we know they stole the title away from you in 2003…
Well, as you know we were able to correct that appalling state of affairs by giving the Muggaz a well deserved kicking for the 2003 debacle last year, although we're not particularly concerned about them this year!
So, what of the other teams?
Well, of the rest, it all looks fairly easy doesn't it? Perhaps Revengers' Tragedy might be an interesting trip, we've never played them before and there could be some home Conference battles with the Dolts and the Darkstalkers but neither of those teams are yet ready for war.
So what about the new players you’ve signed this season?
We're fairly happy with our acquisitions this year. When Ike Wall and Lament Darkfall were coshed over their respective heads as they poked themselves out of the door of the Krush, they both responded with indifference so that's a good sign. I'm sure they'll fit in well. They're already training nicely, they hardly ever complain and they've never heard of wages so everyone here among the ownership is looking forward to above average things from the both of them.
So does that mean more pieces of eight for you then?
Don’t be ridiculous!
Sniff!
Sorry!
On the point of players, rumours from the Mutineers dressing room say that Savogand Thrall has not been a happy bunny over the last few weeks. Would you care to comment?
Of course he's happy. He said some things, the ownership said some things back and have punished him sufficiently. He'll not complain again but if anyone out there puts in a good bid then we'll be happy to box him up for you.
Oh…right!
Care to make any other comments about the callous brutality of your team?
Er………NO!
Oh well, you can only try!
Well…thank you very much for sparing some time to talk to us.
My pleasure….SECURITY!
DAMN! Here we go again!
Cum ‘ere you two!
NO WAY! Run Sniff!
Already one step ahead of you Scratch!
Back *puff*...to *puff*...…you *puff*…in *puff*….the studio.*puff*
AHHHhhhh!
Security – GOTHCA!.......................
Wow! That was some report.
I hope those two are alright!
They'll be fine!
Well that was Scratch and Sniff reporting for SLB, so until our next instalment. Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.