Savage Land Broadcasts
Well Jerry, it's not looking good in the Savages team room tonight.
You're right Tom. Controversy has reered its ugly head once again. Rushing coach "The Flash" has departed for pastures new after two long hard years of service to the team. Rumours in the changing room are that he has been poached by a rival team in the up and coming Northern Conference. Of the team he was said to have commented that they just "can't hack the pace, nor can I for that matter!".
In light of the departure of "The Flash", Lineman Sid Unvicious has finally decided to swap his studded guantlets for a mega phone and has become ex-pro coach for the team. Blitzers Sirius and S'lip D'isc are none too happy about this and have threatened to
"rip his ****** eyes out and feed them to the team mascot!"
if Unvicious tries to coach them!
I can't wait to see that Jerry.
Nor can I Tom!
Injuries are rife this year and it's not looking good for the dynamic duo, yes that's right, the Rat Ogres The Claw and Veh'nomm!
Oh No Tom! How'd that happen?
Well Jerry, during a recent brawl at "The Swamps", a notorious drinking hole frequented by the Savages, The Claw, Lineman Marcus Maximus and High Elf Mithdithius were all injured after an alltercation involving the troll doorstaff. Team Apothecary, Hacker "Hacksaw" Bones, reports that The Claw has suffered a ripped tendon to his tail, Maximus has cracked several ribs and Mithdithius has damaged his left elbow.
Not looking good at all Tom.
Apart from all that all is quite on the managerial front for the Savages of late, which is rare for a team that has the loudest head coach in its conference.
The Beejmeister hasn't been seen since the 3-2 defeat in their last game of 2004, against the Muggaz!
In an unofficial interview with Goblin lineman Scratchy Ratwort, the latest rumour from the dugout is that the Beejmeister has been liasing with a shadowy sponsor to furnish the team with a new pitch and a whole new cheerleader squad!
So Tom does mean a "Da Slapper Squad" Mark two on the cards?
Well Jerry, the bookies are currently taking odds on the new squads' name. I favour Da Chav Slags myself!
How appropriate. So are we expecting a lot of in fighting between squads?
Yup. I'll think we're in for a good cat fight this year Jerry!
Well thats it for now folks but we'll be sure to keep you updated on all the new developments and scandals overshadowing the Savages.
This has been Tom E Nilef and Jerry T Mawse reporting for Savage Land Broadcasts.