The History of the PAIN Corp
Year |
W |
D |
L |
F |
A |
Pts |
Conf |
Pos |
Post |
2007 |
5 |
3 |
0 |
12 |
4 |
18 |
2 |
4 |
Champions |
2006 |
6 |
2 |
0 |
18 |
5 |
20 |
1 |
1 |
Semi Finals |
2005 |
1 |
4 |
3 |
6 |
9 |
7 |
2 |
12 |
N/a |
- 2007: PAIN Corp continue to be undefeated throughout the regular season and onto the post-season as the team claims their first League Championship. The Corp do not win the ADF North title but as wildcards knock out two former champions en route to a decisive victory over Conferenc rivals the Revenue Stealers in the final. The team takes other accolades including Best Defence and Taliona Raven is the Player of the Year in a glorious year for PAIN Corp.
- 2006: A vastly improved second season in the league is turned around by new acquisition Taliona Raven who leads the league in scoring and rushing, while moving the Corp from worst in fumbles during 2005 to best in 2006. The team march through the regular season undefeated, claim their first ADA North title, and knock out the Scarbringer Savages in the post-season. The glorious run is eventually ended by the Tempo Ray Mutineers in overtime of the semi-final
- 2005: The first season is a somewhat disappointing for the PAIN Corporation Blood Bowl team as they finish second in the expansion Northern Conference but fail to claim a post-season position. The death of the team's only ball-carrier, Leydon Ezra in his debut match hampers the team as the medical team are unable to revive the High Elf. Individual success comes for Leonora "Eater of Worlds" Snugglebum who claims most of the player awards in the Conference.
- 2004: The explosion in the Blood Bowl market inspires forward-thinking CEO Varash “Ethnic Cleansing” Bloodfist to purchase a team. A series of hostile takeovers leads to the PAIN Corporation establishing a team and entering it for the 2005 AD season. Failing troll executive Grrr'aaaaar'lraghgl Jones is named as coach, under the watchful eye of Technical Director, The Dude.
- 1996: The Bastards For Hire Corporation pays a halfling consultant to restore their commercial image. After a brief stint as the Happy Clappy Huggy Wuggy Corporation, the board opt instead for a more modern approach that properly reflects their commercial aims. The Powerful And Integrated Networks Corporation is formed, majoring on the newly developed “Spiked-Knee-to-Groin” approach to negotiation.
- 1993:
The “miss-selling” scandal again hurts the public image of The Bastards For Hire Corporation, who are widely held to have broken regulations with their patented “Fist-To-Face” financial sales technique.
- 1977: The Bastards For Hire Corporation's shares skyrocket after the company stages a hostile take-over of every rival in the market for endowment mortgages.
- 1938: The infamous Count Valentine's Day Massacre occurs, when every operative of the rival elf-owned Ethical Co-Operative Bank are apparently beaten to death with their own limbs by a gang of burly orcs in ill-fitting suits. The resulting bad publicity sees the Smash'n'Grab Company re-brand themselves as the more consumer-friendly Bastards For Hire Corporation.
- 1920: Startling profits lead to the Smash'n'Grab Company diversifying their operations, venturing into consultancy, financial services, protection solutions and tourism.
- 1918: Allegations of criminality are shrugged off by the board of the Smash'n'Grab Company when every witness in a corruption trial is found to have inexplicably died of natural causes, when their genitals spontaneously combust, their teeth fall out, and a virus causing chainsaw-like wounds leads to their dismemberment.
- 1901: The first company with an all-orc board is floated on the Old World stock exchange. The Smash'n'Grab Company specialises in structural repairs to economically important buildings such as banks and national mints. This niche market inexplicably explodes as a series of bombings and robberies sees business increase at an unprecedented rate.
- 1891: In the twenty years following the Poon-Tang settlement, orcs struggle to establish their place in modern society. A failure to understand and respect social mores leads to practical exclusion, and orc social leaders undertake to curb the burgeoning unrest.
- 1870: Continuing ravages from rampaging orc hordes leads Old World leaders to meet at Poon, where a summit is held with a group of orc wise men known as the "Tang". A settlement is reached, allowing full economic and social movement between orcs and the societies of the gentler Old World races.