In D.A N/a Police Dolts 0-1 Tempo Ray Mutineers

Weather: Perfect Blood Bowl Weather

Gate: 22k

A raucous crowd of 22,000 crammed into the infamous holding centers that make up the spectator stands of The Cell. While they were not treated to a touchdown-fest, what the crowd were witness to was a tremendous tactical battle to open up the 2003 league season. Around three-quarters of the total gate appeared to be made up of Mutineer following sporting their traditional dead parrots and smug superiority. Chief warden Flames implied after the match that there may need to be a renewed effort to round up criminals and lock them away so as to increase the home support.

The match began inauspiciously for the Dolts with a shanked kick leading to a lost ball and a touchback. Boa Dicea, the Amazon Blitzer took the restart for the Mutineers and started towards the right flank. Clearly fired up by what crowd support there was, the early Dolts pressure was intense particularly on the front line. The menacing Snurg "The Great" landed a vicious headbutt on Rip Sorepain of the Mutineers putting the Orc out for the game. With firepower like that concentrated in the centre of the pitch, it appeared that Boa Dicea could take advantage of the flanks particularly when she badly hurt Salina Black the Wood Elf catcher. The carnage in centrefield had caught the attention of both sets of player and the Amazon almost escaped un-noticed. Only A'Argch the Ghoul had not been sucked into the melee though whether that was through astute thinking or cowardice is unknown. One-on-One, everyone in attendance must have thought Boa Dicea would burst through to open the scoring for the away team but unbelievably she was dragged down and failed to dodge away when it seemed easier to score than not.

With such a huge break in the early going, the momentum swung full square behind the Dolts. A crafty play by A'Argch saw him collect the ball from the fallen Amazon and lateral it to "High" Lady Venice the Witch Elf. Accompanied by the Norse Blitzer Sven Andersson, a rapid counter-attack was on the cards. There seemed no stopping the Dolts who were playing with incredible intensity. It was almost as if the home team were able to take two actions to every one that the away side managed. With ease, Lady Venice and her Norse bodyguard swept down the center of the pitch. The pair had advanced half way into Mutineer territory before the away team had time to turn around.

Just as quickly as the counter-attack began, it was over. The Dolts appeared to simultaneously run out of steam completely. The rot had begun with Human Lineman Simpson coming off second best in a block with Fester Rustblade the Mutineers' Goblin. The result of Simpson being knocked out while trying to attack the Goblin was greeted with laughter from the ranks of away support and derision from the Mutineers bench. Allegations of doping have proven unfounded but it is understood that the Dolts head coach Terry Hungry has launched an internal investigation to discover who supplied the dodgy gear. Lady Venice was not immune to the malaise as she was dropped down and out by Mutineers captain Savogand Thrall. Sven, the Witch Elf's supposed bodyguard was ineffectual in his attempts to throw blocks for her allowing the Mutineers High Elf captain the opportunity to whisk the ball away. The Dolts medical team apparently found one of Venice's own stiletto blades imbedded in her leg suggesting some imaginative foul play by Savogand. The medical team have denied that the blade was covered in a poison which causes temporary paralysis but it would explain why they were unable to revive her for the rest of the game.

Having regained possession of the ball, the Mutineers found the going extremely tough. By now, both teams had regrouped and it was proving difficult for either side to take a firm grip on the game. The exertions of the first quarter of the game gave way to a chess match in which the two sides seemed more concerned with preventing each other from finding a way through their lines than with an outright attack. Canny tactical play and mind games slowed the pace of the match dramatically. A grinding style of attritional blocking developed with neither side making a decisive play. Fabien Degravson brought the meaningful action of the half to an end with a well-placed tackle on Savogand Thrall that ended the Mutineers attack but too late in the half for the Dolts to reach the end zone themselves.

At half-time, the analysis was split with some suggesting the Dolts had the advantage having kicked-off the first half and now about to receive still at 0-0. Others argued that the home team were at a numerical disadvantage with only 7 fit bodies able to take to the field while the Mutineers could bring on the 'fresh' legs of Skeleton "Slim" Zeke McDead to bring their compliment back up to 11. Either way, what was most noticeable about the half-time interval was the monotonous sound of a sea shanty filling The Cell. The shanty droned on and on almost unceasingly until the end of the game and clearly rattled the Dolts but the Mutineers seemed to find it inspiring and appeared to come out for the second half somewhat energised by the fan chant.

A centrally placed kick immediately brought into focus how the numerical disadvantage might effect the Dolts. It was up to A'Argch once again to take the ball as the two main ball-handlers for the Dolts, Salina Black and Lady Venice were off the pitch nursing their injuries. Without their most potent strikeforce, the Dolts formed a cage to protect A'Argch as the Mutineers stood off, trying to maneouvre the cage out of position. The first player to crack and decide to blitz into the cage was Kotek Gorefest the Beastman but he was knocked back by Snurg "The Great" as the mighty Chaos Warrior began once again to flex his muscles. To the astonishment and horror of the Mutineers and their fans, Kotek stood up somewhat groggy and confused only to blitz his own team-mate Toxix sending the Wight off the pitch for treatment. At such a crucial stage of the game, a punch drunk Beastman could have swayed the match in the Dolts favour.

Despite their additional member, the Dolts were faced with exactly the same problem that the Mutineers had towards the end of the first half in that there was simply no way through the dogged defensive lines. Once again, the match dissolved into an attritional blocking battle that lasted the majority of the second half. A tremendous number of blocks were thrown during this period but it was the Mutineers who exhibited physical superiority. A series of knock-outs was followed by Norseman Sven Andersson being carried off the pitch with a strained wrist while trying to defend the ball carrier A'Argch from his undead rival "Slim" Zeke McDead. The Mutineers are well famed for their defensive solidity and they proved this once again by covering every possible avenue of escape for the Dolts attackers. The cage was being broken apart and the Dolts were suffering from the relentless blocking of their opponents.

As time drew near, the Dolts were left with just five players left on the pitch. Even Kotek Gorefest the confused Beastman who acted as an extra player had been knocked out following a hefty blow from the Dwarf Longbeard Kerval Axebreaker. Sensing that the situation was becoming desperate A'Argch attempted to waste time in order to hold out for a draw. A clever tactical ploy or brazen cowardice? A'Argch turned and headed straight back towards his own goal line with those Mutineers who could in hot pursuit. In a straight race between the Ghoul and his two main pursuers Zeke McDead and the Dwarf Runner Gunnar Gunnarsson there is no doubt that A'Argch would have come out victorious but his plight offered him no route of escape and no way of avoiding the oncoming Mutineers. With just a quarter of the half to go, it was down to one Ghoul alone to stop the Mutineers from scoring while those few Dolts left on the pitch were coming to terms with the taste of The Cell's particular brand of carpeting.

Being chased down and outnumbered, a glimmer of hope appeared for A'Argch as Human Lineman Fabien Degravson bravely hauled himself off the floor to offer a passing target for the Ghoul. There was no possible way any player could throw such a long pass while running backwards and within touching distance of two Mutineers. The ball sailed up, above the outstretched hands of the diminutive Gunnarsson and the creaking bones of McDead, spiralling in the evening gloom perfectly on target. An amazing effort from A'Argch to save the game for his team. The ball landed directly into Degravson's hands and a roar went up from the home support. The match could be saved as a draw after all. But no, Degravson's bravery and A'Argch's sublime skill were in vain as the ball bounced free from Degravson's grasp and his world collapsed as Kerval Axebreaker smashed into him from his left side.

With the ball free on the floor for the Mutineers to collect, Savogand Thrall stepped forwards to survey his options and decide how to score in the closing moments of the game. Maybe it was fatigue or maybe showboating but Savogand held on to the ball for too long, allowing a last ditch tackle to come in from Snurg "The Great". The ball dropped once more but bounced kindly for the Mutineers. Savogand regained his balance, re-checked his options and saw only one. A groan went up from the Mutineers fans as it was clear that the pass was off target. That was it, the match would end as a 0-0 draw. With Mutineers heads dropping a freak gust of wind caught the ball in flight and brought it within reach of Boa Dicea the Amazon blitzer who had started the action some two hours previously. Unlike Degravson she made no mistake with her handling and brought the ball firmly under control before running for across the line in the last action of the game and victory.

Injuries: Dolts: Sven Andersson - Strained Wrist (0 games) Bobby "Blue" Eye - Gashed Leg (0 games)

Team	CAS	Blocks	Downs	Rush	Pass	Stand
Dolts	2	52	21	10	3	7
Mutineers	3	32	23	21	6	17

MVPS: Fabien Degravson, Savogand Thrall

Best Players

Boa Dicea: 1 TD, 1 CAS, 2 Rushes for 13yds, 1 Rec for 6 yds, 4 Blocks, 2 Downs, 2 Stands, 1 Fumble

Snurg "The Great": 1 CAS, 12 Blocks, 7 Downs, 1 Tackle, 2 Stands