In D.A N/a Police Dolts 1-2 Fabienettes

Weather: Rain

Gate: 35k

5,000 fans were turned away at the gates as the Dolts registered their largest attendance of the season at home to the Fabienettes. The two had been tipped as keen rivals in the Eastern Conferencebut have experienced contrasting seasons. A win for the Fabienettes would guarantee them a place in the post-season. Their second place in the Conference has already been secured. The Dolts have had a disappointing run having not won since Week 2 against the Mercenaries and with no chance of making the playoffs. Sixth place overall will be their final position regardless of the outcome of today's game. A loss or a draw would leave the Fabienettes out of the post-season picture.

Allegations were flying round The Cell concerning the possible fixing of the outcome of this match. With one side having nothing to play for and the other needing a win at all costs, it is surely a fixture ripe for collusion. Both coaches strenuously denied any attempt to fix the game during the build up but a cloud of suspicion hovered over the arena. It was by no means the only cloud, rain was pouring onto the un-protected exercise area that constitutes the pitch of The Cell. The conditions were extremely difficult underfoot and ball-handling was undoubtedly affected.

The opening kick-off saw the Fabienettes receiving. The Dolts offered up an empty backfield defense with their firepower concentrated on the line of scrimmage. It was perhaps not as daft a defensive formation as it may seem. The rain made it extremely difficult for the visitors to hold onto the ball. A series of un-forced fumbles can only be attributed to the effects of the weather on a bobbling ball. Thanks to the fumbles, the front line battle served as the focus for the early action. Dolts Norse Blitzer Sven Andersson scored the first casualty of the game by Badly Hurting Goblin Roy who had wandered too close to the physical areas of the field. The line of scrimmage is a chaotic place at the best of times but in the rain it seemed even more complicated than ever for the Fabienettes. Lineman Homo Erectus blocked his way to the second casualty of the game but it was hardly glorious as a cheap shot against an un-guarded back took down his own team-mate Norseman Bob "The Hair". Such a blatant act of stupidity is remarkable even by the standards of the most cretinous Blood Bowl players.

The Fabienettes seem to have little regard for the well being of most of their players. No punishment was meted out to Homo Erectus and the rest of the team played on. The other Fabienettes Norseman, "Long" Pugh Bes finally managed to secure possession but was ignored by the Dolts who continued to plough into the visiting front line. Lineman Fabienen Degravson fouled his Orc opposite number Pubic Trimmer in a particularly disgusting manner. Referee Graham Poledancer had little option but to send Degravson off for the misdemeanour. The dismissal seemed to catch the home side off guard and they failed to move back into positions that would be able to hold off the run of Pugh Bes. The Norseman scored the opener in this crucial game, his second touchdown of the season.

The rain was falling in an increasingly heavy storm. Flashes of lightning lit up the sky overhead and conditions became almost un-playable. Dolts Witch Elf "High" Lady Venice certainly found them difficult. She failed to gather in the kick-off and the Fabienettes took advantage. Orc Thrower WogWog got himself down the field before Lady Venice could react. Accompanied by "Long" Pugh Bes, they overwhelmed the Dolts backfield unit. With surprising ease, WogWog was able to grab the ball despite the horrendous conditions. Players were sliding everywhere and neither team could really get any sort of blocking game going. WogWog showed remarkable composure. He ran in the second score of the half to put daylight between the sides and boost the Fabienettes chances of making the playoffs.

The Fabienettes were clearly reacting better to the adverse weather conditions than the Dolts. No more meaningful play was managed before the half and it was 2-0 to the visitors as they headed for their fourth win in five games. The Dolts had been unable to get their rapid attack going at all during the first half. The terrible handling conditions were proving a major obstacle but they had secured two casualties in the first half along with the self-inflicted injury to Bob "The Hair".

The storm showed no sign of abating at the start of the second half. Once again, the kick-off was misfielded. This time it was Salina Black the Wood Elf Catcher who fumbled. Goblin "Roy's" Girl tried to take advantage by dodging right through the line of scrimmage. There was no way anyone could lay an effective tackle zone on such a slippery customer but the Goblin could not take hold of the ball either. A brave play from "Roy's" Girl very nearly paid off but the ball was playing like a bar of soap from the showering facilities in the next wing. The only thing to do when the ball is proving difficult to get hold of is to turn to violence. It was the visitors who proved the more aggressive, WogWog and "Roy's" Girl both abandoned their chase for the ball to inflict Casualties on Linemen Bobby "Blue" Eye and "Rob'S" Gay Dad. Both were serious hits that caused the medical team in the home dugout to scramble for recovery aids.

Having given up their chase for the ball, the Fabienettes allowed Salina Black to finally take possession for herself. A 2 touchdown cushion gave the visitors confidence that in the tricky conditions, the Dolts would not be able to comeback. Their confidence may have been a little premature. Salina Black is extremely quick even in such horrendous weather conditions. The Fabienettes had one eye on the playoffs but should perhaps have paid more attention to Salina. She scored to bring the game back to 2-1.

There was no panic on the Fabienettes bench. Knowing that they would receive next and that the conditions showed no signs of letting up, it would take something remarkable for the Dolts to score in the time remaining. A mistake from the Dolts at the kickoff seemed to seal the game's fate. A Bad Kick launched the ball out of bounds meaning a touchback. Wardancer Fabio was handed possession and set off at what pace he could muster in the conditions towards the Dolts endzone. Fabio may well be a highly skilled player and effective team captain but for there was no firm footing at all this late in the game. Despite her slender physique, Salina Black was able to catch Fabio in midfield and put a big enough hit on him to knock the ball free. A loose ball at just over half way with very little time left in the game could have spelled danger for the Fabienettes. Fabio was unable to retrieve the ball so the Dolts had one last chance to make a break. With Elf "High" Lady Venice was the first Dolts player to the ball, if she could pick it up there was a slim chance that she might be able to sprint through the backfield to tie the game at 2-2. She couldn't. The conditions made the ball too tricky and it squirmed free. The final whistle went. The Fabienettes had won 2-1 and were in the playoffs.

This was a bizarre game affected by heavy weather conditions and allegations of match fixing. All that will matter to the Fabienettes is that they have won. They will be in the playoffs as one of the two wildcard teams. The Eastern Conference regular season has concluded. The Fabienettes will be reasonably happy with their return of 15 points and a trip to the post-season. The Dolts must surely be disappointed with the way their season has gone. Securing just 4 points is a poor return. They must hope for much better next season.

Injuries: Dolts: Bobby "Blue" Eye - Broken Arm (2games)

Team	CAS	Rush	Blocks	Downs	Fumbles
Dolts	2	16	47	23	2
Fabienettes	2*	36	23*	8*	6

*Plus one on own team

MVPS: "High" Lady Venice, Roy

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